Cry Me A River: In recent years — or weeks, really — that Justin Timberlake hit has become a go-to cover, especially among those whose tangled emotional states can only be expressed through TRL-era song. (Please see Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, your ex-boyfriend on karaoke night.)
And yet, the story behind the hit hasn’t become obscured by all the Jelena gossip — never mind the passing years and passing fads. (Please see fedoras, frosted tips, his/hers Canadian tuxedos.)
So when Justin Timberlake himself played Cry Me a River Saturday night — slipped into a New Orleans set that marked his first concert in five years — the pop star’s most infamous ex, Britney Spears, was on people’s minds, her name whispered on the wind like an air bra wheezily deflating in the crush of the crowd: Britne-e-ey, Britne-e-ey.
And then Timberlake said this:
“Sometimes in life, you think you found the one,” he told the crowd, introducing Cry Me A River. “But then one day,” he continued, “you find out that she is just some bitch.”
He’s totally talking about Britney Spears — except he says he’s not.
Timberlake Tweeted a clarification after the show for those who thought he just trashed one of the world’s biggest pop stars in front of Jay-Z and a 13-piece band and a squad of back-up dancers and all the people who were at DirecTV’s Super Bowl concert.
“OK. I see you,” he wrote. “Wouldn’t disrespect ANYONE personally. Ever,” he tweeted, proceeding with a bunch of hashtags that either mean he and Spears are all good or that he’s a 12-year-old who Instagrams pictures of his “mani” all day.
To wit: “#Relax #ItsBritneyBitch I do love that saying though *with accent* #Respect.”
As if you didn’t already know, the line “It’s Britney, bitch” appeared in Spears’ 2007 hit Gimme More. Since that time, the phrase has appeared in more modern pop songs than Justin Timberlake. Also, every time anyone puts a quarter in a swear jar for saying the B-word, the money goes directly to Britney Spears. She has trademarked the word, and that is that. (For this article, we hope she treats herself to something nice with her $1.50 in earnings.)
So maybe Timberlake didn’t think he was singling out Spears. He “wouldn’t disrespect ANYONE personally,” after all.
But “hashtag wait a second,” bro. If you’re going to start complaining about “some bitch” you’re disrespecting not just anyone, but everyone – including certain individuals close to Spears. Yeah, women, but we’re thinking in more specific terms. Take, for instance, her new publicist.
The publicist’s name is Hannah. She helped fan some rumours that Spears is heading to Vegas.
Hannah, by the way, is Britney Spears’s dog.
Over the weekend, Hannah Spears, actual bitch, took to Twitter, furthering speculation that her “boss” is putting together a Las Vegas residency deal, similar to other stars like Celine Dion, Shania Twain or Rod Stewart.
“Mommy, are dogs allowed to gamble in vegas? Gonna cash all my bones in for chips,” the dog’s people Tweeted over the weekend.
And while Spears won’t be doing Caesar’s Palace or Planet Hollywood – that much was confirmed by Buzzfeed following weeks of speculation – the Tweet, which was RT’d by Spears’s own account, suggests Team Britney might still be planning something. (Or they at least want you to gossip about it.)
In other news, Spears was photographed Sunday holding a new puppy. It’s unclear whether the canine is a member of Spears’s staff, which recently experienced some turnover with the departure of her former fiance/agent Jason Trawick.
It’s also unclear if the dog is a bitch.
